Lessons I learned from my mom
My mom passed away Christmas Eve morning. We had hospice coming to the house for about 3 weeks, so she died where she wanted to. At home.
My mom (along with my dad) was my biggest supporter. She wrapped soap for me, came to visit when I was at local events and set her alarm for my Facebook 4 o’clock Live. My customers knew her from my SOAPen House and would tell me how much they enjoyed talking with her. She’d brag about me at the Senior Center, and I was invited to make soap with the seniors.
My grief comes in waves, and when I’m sad I remember the lessons I learned from my mom.
Save your money
Mom was a big believer in saving money. She and my dad were frugal. There was always money for important things (food, doctor visits) but if you didn’t have the money for a new TV, you didn’t buy one till you did. “Pay off your charge cards every month.” “Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.” “When you get a raise at work, bank it, don’t spend it.”
I did exactly this when I went from working part time to working full time as my kids got older. I banked half my paycheck. When Brian got the bad news his employer was moving operations to Canada, we had an emergency fund to fall back on.
Be the peacemaker
Mom was not confrontational. If you have a difference of opinion with someone and it wasn’t important, they don’t need to know. There were plenty of family members who didn’t speak to other family members, but my parents said they were Switzerland. If she got offended at something someone said, she didn’t mention it. As she got older, she became a little more opinionated, but she was still a peacemaker.
I try to live my life the same way. I have a habit of being judgemental, and I try to keep it to myself. It’s hard though. So I put a little swing on it. “Forgiving you means I no longer dwell on what an a$$hole you are. It doesn’t mean you are no longer an a$$hole”. It allows me to let go of things that upset me, but there’s that judgement coming out. I never could do it as well as mom did.
Family is the only thing that matters
Family comes first. Always. There was no choice for my mom. Anything other than family really wasn’t important anyway.
Mom loved the show “Blue Bloods” so every Sunday, we had a “Regan” family dinner. Except we didn’t use the good china. And we didn’t always cook. Sometimes, we ordered in. But we were all together and that is what mattered to her. My sisters and I would make sure she saw one of us every day. We took her to high tea (see the picture above) and to the park. It didn’t matter where we went.
Always use the bathroom before you leave the house
Cause, hey, it makes sense.
What lesson did you learn from your mom?
Yours in Gratitude,