Dealing with Fears
I hate bridges. Let me clarify that. I hate driving over bridges. I don’t like being a passenger in a car going over a bridge, but that’s much easier for me to deal with than being the driver. For the first few years of my driving life, I dealt with this fear by avoiding any driving that had me going over a bridge. However, with living on Long Island, that proved to be a challenge. After a few years of realizing this was no way to live, I forced myself to drive over small bridges. Finally, I started driving over larger ones. Despite my success, bridges still make me uncomfortable.
My husband had the flu last week and we were supposed to baby sit for my grandson Luke. This means a trip off Long Island driving across a bridge. Clearly, I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to see Luke, so over the Throgs Neck Bridge I drive.
As I’m driving I’m remembering how many years ago, this might have put me into a panic attack. I still don’t like it, and I notice my hands clench the steering wheel. I start to sweat and I sing out loud as I drive (I always sing “Let there be Peace on Earth” I don’t know why, but that’s what I sing.) However, I continue to drive over that damn bridge.
So it seems to me I will always have issues with bridges, but I’m not going to let it stop me from doing what I want. I’m learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and it’s something I need to re-learn Every. Single. Day. I had fears about starting Alegna Soap®, fears about speaking in public and I felt the fear and did it anyway. My only regret is that it took me so long to figure out that facing a fear is not a one time thing, it’s a process I need to repeat constantly. My reward for facing my fear of bridges was having Luke all to myself Friday night.
How do you deal with your fears? Do you have any coping mechanisms you can share in the comments?
Yours in Gratitude,
Angela
To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life’s path .” – Khalil Gibran
There is where I am and where I neeed or what to be. I have many fears (including bridges – 59th street especially – hate those grates) Fear .. hmmm. The first thing I do is accept the fact that my fear is real for me, it exists , rational or not – it’s mine and I need to embrace it to move past it.. I look the to the end game and what I need to do to get there. Risk/Reward. At times , There is no way one can get what they what or do what they want to for others without going thru pain and overcoming the fear . For me it’s rather routine / I just push thru , know the fear is not forever and the prize at the other side is worth it. ( I usually do not share my fear .. it’s more harmful to me . )I know that life begins at the end of our comfort zones- so I bite the bullet and push on thru and past the fear to my end goal … what’s really the worst that can happen after all ? ♥️ Fortitude or stupidity ,I never give up : it’s not an option. Every day is a gift . I rely heavily on a higher power .
So beautifully written! Thank you Paula. I also rely on my higher power, I’m guessing that’s why I sing Let There be Peace on Earth.
This sort of exposure to fears, but just pushing through and doing it, can be a great way to overcome them! The key is not to push yourself too far too fast, or it can be even scarier. I really like your perspective and story on this!
Thanks Arien! It’s almost like baby steps, but as long as I’m moving forward I’m making progress. It gets easier each time, but is never easy.
I make sure to breathe. I remind myself that the fear is in my head. I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing. I really enjoyed this post!
So true Alyson! When I’m stuck in a place of panic I forget to breathe. Maybe that’s why I sing. It forces me to breathe.
I agree with Arien, it helps to push through fears.
Sometimes when my mind is just going back and forth debating if I should do something I’m afraid of, I fall back on the Nike slogan. Just do it. The anxiety is still there and it’s hard. I try to become comfortable with that. Thanks for sharing Sharon.